Monday, June 1, 2009

The Tug is the Drug

" Holy Bass" Ann with another.


We got our bags ten minutes ago.
Sorry. I was calling your work number.
Coffee cake?
John Day box.
The tug is the drug.
Are we there yet?
Stop for the view? No consensus on that.
So what gets you excited about steelhead?
[Unprintable.]
Are we there yet?
Wasco has it all!
There’s the river.
That was the takeout.
Two hours to go.
Sure is hot.
Why don’t you open the gate?
Where are the cows?
How many six-weights?
Dan has a fish on.
Park the car.
Shove us off.
Where’s my John Day box?
Holy cow!
This is stupid good.
Jigs and grubs.
Bass in the boat.
Holy mackerel!
Look at that!
Dan has a fish on.
Holy mackerel!
Unbelievable!
My neck hurts.
There’s another one.
POPPERS!
TEGAN!
Yin and tonic.
Spanieisms.
You mean you didn’t bring the sleeping bags?
Bugs in hat.
Marinara on hat.
Whipped cream with that?
Layering with tablecloth.
Roasting.
Tablecloth off.
Still roasting.
More layers off.
OK. ZZZZZ.
Where’s the coffee?
This is a stupidfest!
FOAMER poppers!
Was that thunder?
Don’t panic. Keep working.
That’s a double.
That was lighting.
Count the seconds.
That’s a triple.
Row faster.
How many triples was that?
How many hundred was that?
Fried chicken?!
Key lime?!!!
Where’s my headlamp?
My fianc√©…I guess.
You fish. I’ll row.
Bass-o-matic.
I won’t fish. You can’t make me.
Hawks.
Eagles.
Scudzilla.
Sheep.
Relentlessly spectacular.
Dan has a fish on.
Turk’s Tarantula.
Turk’s jerk.
Scotch.
Watch the hills.
Cigars.
Myfianc√©Iguess’s house.
Snakes?
ZZZ…
Bass before breakfast.
You slept with your headlamp on.
Ibuprofin?
All streamers, all the time.
Bass on.
Double.
Sculpzilla.
Bass on.
Bass on.
Triple!
Majic juju fly.
DEER HAIR POPPERS!
Wail on them stupid.
ALL POPPERS, ALL THE TIME.
Bass in the shade.
Bass lost in the boat.
All y’all.
Bass in the sun.
PA (personal aroma) building in non-linear fashion.
Entrance of the Gods into Valhalla.
Loudly singing Wagner.
Don’s steelhead run.
Quick dip.
Big eddy.
Position A.
Another triple!
There’s the bridge.
Damnit.
Pack up the rods.
That’s that.
Next time…..
Hey…Dan has a fish on!


words by: The Gang Wester River Conservancy